Laughter Still Good Rx
Basil Wolverton artwork
Here’s a few of the Top Ten from Church Bloopers in Bulletins which we can all use right now – enjoy!
- A worm welcome to all who have come today.
- Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Nelson’s sermons.
- During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
- Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
- The ushers will come forward and take our ties and offerings.
- The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Reverend and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
- The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
- Don’t let worry kill you off – let the church help.
- Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.
- Let us join David and Lisa in the celebration of their wedding and bring their happiness to a conclusion.
- Helpers are needed! Please sign up on the information sheep.
- Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.
- The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister’s daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
- The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
- Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30p.m. Please use the back door.
- The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
- The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
- 22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
- The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
- At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.
- The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
- The music for today’s service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
- A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
- Today’s Sermon: How Much Can a Man Drink? with hymns from a full choir.
- Hymn: “I Love Thee My Ford.”
- Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
- Women’s Luncheon: Each member bring a sandwich. Polly Phillips will give the medication.
- Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING conference: “The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.”
- The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
- Ushers will eat latecomers.
- Tuesday at 4PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
- Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.