By Neil Earle
The other night I was watching a great documentary on the building of the Empire State Building, that grand edifice begun just the same month as the October 1929 Crash. As I listened to the rich and vibrant accents of the New Yorkers who worked on the project I was reminded of one of our seniors. “Why they all sound like Tony,” I said to myself. Tony was a man I knew here in El Monte who was a born, bred and buttered New Yorker. That kicked off other memories – Tony’s wife Jeannie who was a very zealous member of the Glendora congregation right up to the time of her death.
This incident caused me to think of other colorful seniors such as Patricia with her very lilting ANZAC twang and Elizabeth’s mild Belfast brogue, if you listen carefully to her speak. That’s one thing about being a pastor – we are pretty rich in both relationships and memories. The apostle Paul wrote in a letter to his favorite church that, “I thank my God every time I remember you” (Philippians 1:3).
The list goes on. There’s Mr. R from the Philippines, and Ralph who represents the broad mid-West American drawl (that I suspect they don’t know they have). Mary B is from Ontario, Canada but has had her accent smoothed out by now – like myself, I suppose.
I mention these little reminiscences just to let you know that even those housebound seniors may be out of sight but never far out of mind. That’s the way it should be. The seniors and shut-ins make up what one of our deacons speaks about quite often – the invisible church. Some people say that Christianity is all about relationships and there’s truth to that.
Some time back I finished editing a book by a well-published United Methodist psychologist who is also a senior citizen. His name is Jon Paul Eddy and he donated a manuscript which my district superintendent and I turned into a book titled “Mending Broken Relationships.”
With God’s help it turned out pretty good. In one of the chapters we define what healthy human relationships are. Here’s a brief summary:
Good relationships are characterized by an emphasis on others as much as upon self. This recalls Jesus’ fundamental teaching: “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”
Good relationships are built upon mutual trust and respect. Jesus exemplified this when he told his disciples he called them friends, not servants.
Good relationships get better when each partner is allowed to share skills, gifts and creativity. This applies to families, workplaces or the wider community. Note in Luke 10 how Jesus gave his disciples “freedom to fail.” We all need that kind of support and reinforcement.
Good relationships rely on built-in feedback mechanisms – cooperation is not a one-way street. We have to allow for honesty. But when problems arise we focus on what is wrong not on who is wrong.
Good relationships are built on strong personal committment and loyalty. Note that Jesus did not “dump” Simon Peter even though he had let Christ down shamefully. Jesus restored Peter in part because he had faith in his ultimate, overall loyalty (John 21).
There you have them. Just a few principles to remember when we find ourselves in conflict. Or when we get weary in well-doing. Till next time.