By Pastor Neil Earle
Once there was a teacher who confused her student's locker number with their IQs.
In the mixup she thought the numbers – 38, 142, 153, etc. – were measures of intelligence. She began to treat her class accordingly. By semester's end the principal was astonished at the class performance.
What a lesson in positive expectations!
Too many times teens feel negative expectations coming from youth leaders. Don't leave the light on. Don't crack peanuts in the bathroom. Don't hang around with those girls. Don't hang around with those guys.
We all do it. Too often. And teens end up thinking, "They don't really care about me, they just want me out of the way."
In our new church plant in Rancho Cucamonga we discussed how we could help in this vibrant, growing area. One parent suggested we not leave teens out of our planning. We were directed to a new book, Mending Broken Relationships that had a chapter on teenagers. The authors noted that even Jesus needed encouragement. Remember? "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased" (Matthew 3:17).
Here are three things we can do to help our young people:
First, listen, listen, listen. Author Gerald Egan reminds youth leaders not to forget their own childhood years – how unhappy they felt when censured and fretfully chided. He urges adults to be young again in their feelings. James 1:19 says, "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry."
Second, focused attention. Bring teens in on discussions, set aside a time or a service just for them. Be extra cheerful around them.
Third, expose them to positive role models. Kids forget programs but they remember people. Next to parents the biggest influence on teens is other adults. Here's where YMCA, YWCA, Little League and Recreation Centers can help. Use them. Proverbs 18:24 says, "There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother."
There's lots we can do to rev up our teens about life with God. It can pay off big in the future.